Population Purge

The human population reaches 9 billion around 2042. The non-fossil energy, about the only kind available at that date, may sustain about a billion, about the same as the pre-industrial count. Maybe add a few percent more to account for the wisdom we have gained since the 1800s. But I doubt it.

Prices of everyday goods are rising as the demand for energy soars. Soon Dorothy may have to replace her red shoes with those made of discarded tires from her SUV. No roads of gold, no air travel, and no spin around the block. The little wizard is counting on dirty coal to run his fantasy world a little while longer.

New technology? Yeah, that! Ask the Federal Reserve, Bernanke will print it. Ask the Congress, it will fund technofixes with defunct dollars. The blue collar scientists, however, are looking for a hole to crawl in before it hits the fan. Going from fossil fuels to sustainable energy is like asking a crack baby to get high on plain water! The best of them, wind and solar, are subsidized by oil, utilize high-maintenance technology, and offer miniscule energy-density compared to oil. A whole new infrastructure is needed – about 191 million new vehicles just for the US to carry on with its non-negotiable way of life.

Let us build solar-electric airplanes, now! But wait, GAO says we have this $53 Trillion debt. Double or nothing.

“The only humane approach to the impending comedy,” says Alex the Anatosaurus “is to institute population rationing. I been there. I extinct.” The plutocracy, hankering after the good old feudal days, is against population rationing because, when the oil is gone, they fancy a hundred slaves for target practice. The priest cannot survive without supporting the rich, and, you know, He wants the destitute illiterates to keep buying his keep. The middle class does not have the money to buy a decent brain to think with. The poor and the Armageddonites have their eyes fixed on their just reward – after they are dead – that’s a lot of TNT to clear the deck. In the meantime, do not worry, the soldiers are dying to ensure that SUV tanks are full and the boob-tube is blaring sweet-nothings.

Anyway, here is Mat Noir’s list of population control method.

• Forget carbon credits. Institute child credits. Reserve 1.6180339887 children for every female for the next 25812.807449 days. (Bernanke must have a couple of brain cells to maintain liquidity in child credits on Chicago Commodity Exchange. If a couple exceeds their credit, cut off the little pinky of the female, and that of the male as well, the one between his bandy legs.)
• Use a random number generator as in “your number is up.”
• Treat dementia with an over dose of barbiturates. Like Kurt Vonnegut said the doctors should stop curing pneumonia, "the best friend of old people."
• Mandate drinking and driving, encourage drag racing.
• Fire all firemen.
• Clone Stalin - the purge expert.
• Learn from Eating Raoul, the movie
  
• Klone Kavorkian.
  
• Deny medicine to proselytizing religious kooks. Ask them to pray to their favorite god for good health or go complain in person.

But I hear China is ready to scrap the one-child policy. That’s what happens when you own America and, the nouveau riche Chinois, flush with political power and foresight of a billy goat, shake their Pavlovian penis at the Mandarin communistards.

Clinton: the Scary Vagina

I am the Senator from New York. I am happy to admit I am a Nazi.

No, No, No. Not the kind that hates Jews. I love Jews. I am a Jewish Nazi.

No, No, No. I am not Jew, Noooo. (Phew, almost lost 20 Million goyim votes there.) I am more Jewish than the Jews. (NY is in my pocket now for good.)

I am the new kind of Nazi, the one who is happy when we go to these other-world countries with guns, WTO, NAFTA, IMF, and the world bank. Did I say guns? Yes, guns and 18-year old soldiers who need to grow up real quick or die doing so. It is the American way. Free market and all, people dropping like flies for a fistful of dollars. We destroy local ecologies like the Niger delta or Oaxaca or Darfur for natural resources and destabilize sustainable communities by privatizing their water and selling them Franken-seeds. We turn them into cesspools by indiscriminately discarding oil waste. It is good Nazi business.

Water-boarding? Nah, When I am the President, I will asphyxiate Ahmadinejad with my bare tits, no questions asked. (Take that, Mr. Clinton… (snicker, snicker)). Don't get me wrong. I am all for negotiations, if you can find reasonable people these days. Vote for me in 2008.

Are you full of hate? Welcome. Hate is good. But without a working brain, it is impotent. Select the right source of your economic misery.

Iraq. Iran.

We need oil. If we have to strangle every child in Iraq and Iran to get it, I am all for it. I shall not compromise on the American way.

Yeah, I know you pay over $3/gallon at the pump. Guess what you would be paying if we did not offer all these subsidies to the energy industry. I can count to $27 Billion in subsidies in the 2005 Energy Bill easily. See for yourself. (Don’t mention the corn subsidy they use for ethanol. I enjoy my Franken-corn-on-the-cob when Bill has to sleep on the couch.)

Focus your hate on Iraq, Iran.

Yeah, Yeah. I know if we take this subsidy away, we can import another 12 million Mexicanos, just to wipe our pale ass for no extra taxes.

No, no, no. I am with you. Who needs chocolate like public water? Very unhealthy. Global labor with open borders not good. Before you know it, they will want real wages. Hate to see Dorothy in Kansas, high on high-fructose Franken-foods, living it up on the skid row. (My half-hearted attempt to carry a lost state.)

Vote Clinton 2008.